I know it's a little early to already be looking at Christmas (especially when my birthday's in 3 weeks!), but lights and trees are starting to go up, and it's got me thinking about the month of December and how much I enjoy it. Now, I know there's plenty to not like in December, for instance it's cold. I happen to like the cold, and I hope constantly to have snow for both my birthday and for Christmas. Maybe snow's not your thing, if so I hope you live somewhere warm, because I'm focusing my will on bringing the thunder....err...snowstorm...for both of those days. Maybe you're not a fan of Christmas, I can understand that too, even if I don't share your sentiments. It can be a sort of polarizing holiday, and I think we as a society have very obviously strayed away from the intent. But, honestly, where has this society not strayed away from the original intent?
This post is mostly inspired by the song "Oh Holy Night." I love this Christmas song, it's my hands-down favorite. Why? It makes me cry. It wasn't always the case, I can think of songs I've liked more as a child or young adult, and I remember my pissy adolescent phase when nothing was cool, but now this song is the only reason I'll turn off the iPod and surf the radio waves during December. What does it for, every time, is when the song hits the "Fall on your knees" part. I think I get it now, that pure adoration the song is actually talking about (or what I think I it is), the Love of God made obvious and manifest here on Earth. I won't bother re-posting the lyrics, I trust people to be able to Google search on your own. But now, I don't hear a propaganda song for the Christian faith or some hokey old-timey song, I hear how the Divine, in whatever form you want to believe in It, deliberately sends us inspiration and love and support. You may not always see it, but it's always coming. I think this song reminds me of that; that there can be huge pushes where tons of positive energy descends from upon high and that there's the constant, stead-stream of it flowing through the fabric of this reality. So now, every time I hear that song, I tear up because I can feel that love, I know that love.
I normally have trouble with the whole "on your knees" submission part of anything. I frequently get in discussions with my dad about elements of Catholicism like this; the general idea of submission to the Will of God. I'm a free will sort of guy, I feel that the journey is meaningless without the ability to choose our own adventure. It's like the idea of being forced to do a good deed; if you're forced, was it actually a good deed? Was your soul improved by the undertaking if it wasn't your decision to do good? I touch on this topic a lot, how important self-determination is to me, and I believe to all of us. I have a friend in philosophy who likes to try to rain on every parade he can find that introduced some genetics/neuroscience combination studies which are leaning towards a new school of thought uncovered by experimentation. They're concluding that all of us, from our appearance to our brain chemistry, is pre-determined by our genes.None of this is new, and it's all mostly correct. However! They're beginning to conclude, in essence, that the way we're wired, determined by our genes, given at random from our parents, dictates how we will react to every situation. So, our genes tell us how we will decide, there is no thinking or evaluating choices, we're built to make "X decision" every time "Y choice" is presented. I think that's a load of deterministic horse shit.
Human consciousness seems to be constantly played down and explained away. I've even heard quotes from Steven Hawking implying that we're nothing more than biological robots. Not me sir, not me. I may have a body, a physical form to interact with this environment, but the 'Me' that's most real, (the True Self, Soul, the eternal and never-ending part that inhabits this temporary vessel) is not bound by genetics, the laws of science or society, and will not have my sovereign right to choose taken away from me. But this song, this line about 'falling on your knees' isn't a submission to me, and maybe that's the hiccup I've always had with 'submitting to the Will of God.' Here, the knees part refers to an overwhelmed person, humbly showing his/her appreciation for the miracle they are witnessing. The falling is a relief, an overjoy, not a subservient act. Well, not in my opinion at least. And maybe that's what submitting to the Will of God really is too, giving one's self over to the joy and appreciation, letting that love fill you and letting that be what you reflect: the very best of things.
I still have no desire to tow the line for Earthly organizations, churches, gov'ts, etc...but I'm certainly ok giving myself over to the very best ideals and values of existence. This holiday season, I intend on keeping that as my focus. Christmas has always been a winter festival of warmth and light to me, a time when even in the beginning of the cold season (here in the northern hemisphere) and in the midst of all the hibernating life and darkness, that all this light and warmth is still present and will always come back. This year, I want to be that light and warmth, beaming out to people through the haze of materialism, consumerism and other misguided distractions. This year, maybe instead of giving gifts of things to people (which I'll still do anyway, because it's fun) I'll try my hardest to instead show my unending gratitude for the best gifts I've ever received: existence, love, happiness, companionship. Maybe, in showing that gleeful gratitude, by becoming a Christmas tree of a person, "serenely beaming" (pretty, inviting lights and a fresh pine scent), I can inspire other people to do the same. And maybe this year we can all give the gift of appreciation back to our Source and to each other, and that same overwhelming, knee-buckling joy can be all of ours.
-M
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